Archive for May, 2008

My Son

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot of new thoughts coming out of my little guy’s head. For instance, last week he proposed to me for the first time! It’s beginning to hit home that people don’t always live with their parents and siblings, and so I guess the simplest solution for him was to just marry Momma and settle in for the long haul here at home. Where he belongs. I tried to let him down as gently as I could, but I still couldn’t find the right words to help him understand he won’t always want to live here with Mom and Pop. (“But I WILL want to live here when I’m all grown up!”) Finally got him to sleep by promising that he could stay “Just as long as you WANT to!”, which, of course, means to him *forever*. It was really sweet, one of those moments you know will come because everyone says it will, but it takes your breath away just the same.

Yesterday we were watching the movie Madagascar, and there is a scene where this cute little baby duck gets eaten by a crocodile, and DS thought it was horrible and wanted Jesus to fix it and help the baby ducky get back to its mother. Which has brought on an intermittent discussion for the last 24 hours, finally ending up at the breakfast table this morning talking again about death and Heaven. This has been a topic of discussion off and on since the time of his surgery. But there is only so much you can fully explain to an almost four-year-old and expect them to comprehend. Since then the explanations have slowly gotten more in-depth and he has grasped more and more. His focus has mainly been the death part, trying to understand how it works and why people die. And today he saw past that to the joy of heaven, to being safe from all mean animals (“Dear Jesus, please send your angels to keep me safe from the dinosaurs, and the rhino-dinosaurs, and the hippos”) and to the hope of seeing his angel and being together with his family for eternity. His face lit up as we talked about going to heaven and seeing Jesus come in the clouds. And for the first time, I felt the joy of his dawning realization and greater understanding about salvation. It was so exciting! THIS is why I do what I do every day.

The internet

The problem with the internet is that it enables you to find other like-minded people to share your twisted views and hobbies and beliefs. In other words, if you can’t find friends IRL who sympathize with and obsess with you over your Star Wars figurine collection, or your dooney & bourke addiction, or your need to find just the right part for a Chevy, just hop online and boom, there are dozens, or even thousands, of other people online who share your interests. No more need to even try to be balanced out by your family and loved ones, all the justification required to continue on your merry little obsessed way lies at your fingertips!

Personally, I have found a lovely little site called gymbofriends that feeds my addiction to dressing my kids in nice clothes of good quality that I can resell when they are through wearing them. The thing is ~ it is just so darn easy to buy and buy and buy! I use my paypal account, which doesn’t even seem like “real” money most of the time, and voila! a few days later something great shows up in my mailbox! I love it! They also have a whole section for those members who are “on the wagon”, and one of these days I might think about getting myself one of those wagons. On the flip side, this is a group of women who mostly recognize their gymbo addiction and sometimes support each other in overcoming it, but who always support each other when something on the more serious side of life occurs. When DS had his congenital heart defect diagnosed last year, and had to have open heart surgery to correct it, these were the women who surrounded me with understanding and support, constantly asking how he was and how I was holding up. 

This year when another of the moms in this group lost her child in a tragic accident, they rallied around her and raised over $10,000 in a matter of days to help with his memorial and to help create a website to gather support for legislation to help prevent more of these accidents. His name was Corey, and he was killed when his dresser tipped over on him while he was playing in one of the drawers. If I can, I’ll try to post a link to the website supporting his cause.

Over and over again, I have seen these women come to the support of one another, and not just emotional support given from a keyboard to a flat screen, but in much more tangible ways, even if it is just doing an in-store ISO to feed the addiction! It’s as if we are bonded together by these common interests, and I’ve often told my DH that my friends live in my computer.

But while I am meagerly trying to come up with positive aspects of these addiction-based societies, one of the least harmless being gymbofriends, there are a lot more that are incredibly destructive all around. There are, unfortunately, places on the web where you can find common ground even if your addiction is to certain types of porn, or any type of violent crime. If you enjoy hurting other people, it is easy enough to find more like you on some website, somewhere out there. And even if you are just simply self-destructive and hell-bent on following your own self-destructive ways to their inevitable outcome, there are places for you, too, to justify yourself and find support in your twisted thinking.